My Dear Emmy Ann,
1:15 am Saturday August 30, 2008
I knew sleep would not come easy for me tonight so i guess it is ok we don´t really have time for it anyway. i have wanted to drop you a not for a few days but this has been my first chance. we have been a little busy. i hope you feel like you were able to get in everything you wanted to before you left.....i know, i know, you regret not gettng your room spic and span and your car as well. i might get around to it before next july.
i loved daddy´s blessing tonight. he said everything i was thinking and would have wanted to say. i have thought lots over the past few weeks and the last few days if i have prepared you enough for what lies ahead. i guess it is normal for a mother to feel that way. i do know that you are blessed with the same things i was given when i left home for my overseas journey.
First- two parents who love eachother and love you all their hearts. this love will get you far. i hope the past months have helped you learn more of our unconditional love for you. we both love in different ways but it is the same.
2. a love and respect for your Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. otherwise there would be no way i could handle letting you go! i know that they can take just as good of care of you in Ecuador as here in Idaho.
3. a willingness on our part to let you discover and become who Emily will be with out me, and us. my mom and i had a motto (from pres. Kimball) it hung in my room much like the one you and i share. it said: Go for it! three simple words but they mean tons! Beleive you can accomplish hard things and GO FOR IT!
4. along with this willingness for us to let you go is your desire to "fly" i see myself in you in so many ways. only you are much better.! i hope some of your passion for life you have gained from me. i know it is harder to to see now but some where deep down i am still an 18 year old taking on the world! so "everyone deserves the chance to fly" now it is yours.
5. a support network. family and friends. i am still in AWE over all the money suport you were given, you are so loved. don´t feel bad if as time goes on you don´t have as much time for all of us here at home. it should be that way. Ecuador only has you for a few short months. we will have you always. any friends that don´t understand and accept your opportunities for this are not true friends.
6. scriptures! you are so much fatehr ahead of where i was at youra ge but it was during my summer away that i gained my testimony of the Book of Mormon. Cherish those silent companions (besides they fit better in your carry on than Bud or Lou would)
Well sweetie, i am sure my parents had many of the same anxieties as i am having but they knew they had prepared me well in the areas i have mentioned and i feel peace with that too.
this chapter of your life with me is ending and a new and different one is begining. i have so many regrets about my parenting. i am so imperfect. i know you have been the recepeient of many of my imperfections. please forgive me. i am so sad to be losing my "little girl" but so excited for the woman who will be my friend. (it is different when you don´t live at home. you can not make your bed...ever...and i can´t say anything about it!)
....
so my sweetie. i must close. it is almost time to wake up! a few last minute mom moments...
1. be safe always
2.be helpful, clean, kind, loving
3. ask questions! it makes everything better
4. when it seams too tough to stand, kneal
5. be brave! take risks!
6. recognize there will be hard times-but they will pass
7. don´t brush your teeth in a train station, or go to "tea" with italian waiters!
8.learn everything you can! it is ok to take the attitude i had...i only get this experience this once in my life!!! i am going for it all!!!!
I love you with all my heart! you´re ready, I have NO DOUBTS
Now Go-
it is time to close your eyes and LEAP!
Go Defy Gravity
Love Always,
Mom
Mom i found this while organizing my things. i love you so much! and credit you to each and every one of my successes.! you are incredible!
hope your mother´s day was amazing. you deserve it!
Emmy
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2 comments:
thats such a cute letter :) Doesn't it seem really crazy that on August 30th we met for the first time! We haven't even known each other for a whole year, yet somehow it feels like I never could have not known you! Can you believe you will have lived in Ecuador for 9 months!!!! Long enough to have a baby! ;) I miss you so much! Love you! Wish you a safe journey home!
My Princess,
I have tried to comment to this three other times and they haven't worked so hope this one does! It seems just like the other night I wrote you that letter! and now here you are coming home in just a few days! So hard to believe it! Makes my cry like a baby just thinking about it all! How hard it was to let you go! I cried for a week straight , i swear! I would go lay in the back seat of your car(which is still dirty by the way)or on your bed and just think about you and what you might be doing at that moment. I had many sleepless nights, which I am certain now they were at times you were having one also. I have never had a stronger testimoney given to me of the influence of the Holy Ghost than the past months you have been gone. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for watching over you and protecting you even if you were in Ecuador, not Idaho!
I am so very proud of you! Words can not even express how I feel...relief, pride, love , respect, a little jealousy he he, gratitude, compassion, honor the list goes on and on! I am honored to be your Mother!
Love Always,
Mommy Lori
PS
Ther is a typo I need you to fix on the blog..it says "I have so many regrets about my parents", it should read about my parenting...My parents are another reason why I was able to let you go, let you fly. They believed in me and taught me to be the kind of person I am today! Just like you credit me for so much(too much by the way) I credit them for much of what I have been able to become and achieve! They taught me to trust myself, and in myself! I am so glad I have been able to share some of that with you!
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